Story
Olivia sat cross-legged on her mat, the soft hum of the world fading around her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, welcoming the calm. She focused on her breath, labeling it with the words “in” and “out.” As she began to meditate, thoughts drifted in like clouds—grocery lists, worries about work, memories of past conversations.
She tried to let them go, envisioning each thought as a fluffy cloud floating away. However, whenever she returned to her breath, more clouds soon appeared, disrupting her focus and demanding her attention. A knot of anxiety tightened in her chest. Was she doing it wrong?
Shouldn’t meditation bring blissful emptiness?
Analysis
Mindfulness meditation can use an awareness of the body (particularly the breath, which is part of the body) to let go of narratives and exit sink states. The sensation of breathing and resting is in the Intrapersonal Default Human Range in that it is a natural process. It is not, itself, a narrative – apart from the labels “in” and “out” that we may assign it during meditation. So mindfulness meditation is denarrativizing rather than renarrativizing. It is a Being Present Arrow rather than a Narrative Arrow.
Likewise, a body scan connects everything with an awareness of the whole body, which is a DHR state that can also denarrativize us.
This perspective on mindfulness meditation can answer some questions about the process. When closing her eyes and attending to the breath, Olivia expected to feel a blissful mental emptiness. I’ve felt the same frustration when meditating. However, I would suggest that the goal is less an empty mind and more a nexus state – a state of enhanced agency. A nexus state doesn’t always feel like much of anything. You don’t always know you have agency or self control until you try something, and find you can do it. If you are experiencing your breath somewhat more than usual, then you are somewhat more in a DHR state than usual.
Some authors argue that mindfulness can boost self-control immediately. That’s good to know, but realistically, meditation may not always catapult you into a nexus state. I suggest it builds arrows toward a nexus state. Building arrows takes time, so you can’t expect it to work very well right away – any more than physical exercise makes your muscles suddenly grow in size.
Vocabulary
- Mindfulness meditation: A practice of intentional awareness in the present moment. This awareness often focuses on the breath, but it need not do so.
- Body scan: A mindfulness meditation based on an awareness of the whole body.
Nexus State Theory 