Here are a few other arrows to consider:
Activity arrows
Many activities can point to a Psychological or Intrapersonal Default Human Range (DHR) state. I suggest that these activities are quite different for different people. They could include:
- Listening to certain music.
- Engaging in physical exercise, such as taking a walk.
- Traveling, such as driving a car.
All of these states were experienced by hunter gatherers regularly, although travel was by foot rather than by car. None of them require other humans or great material wealth. If one cannot afford a car, one can travel by bicycle or by walking.
While some people say that driving a car can help them relax (perhaps because it’s like Default Human Range travel), others may find driving to be very stressful (perhaps because the car itself is a Learned Layer (LL).) Each person has to find their own arrows.
Some people may find that simply doing the desired activity will get them out of a sink state. That is, if you’re having trouble getting started on a chore, just do the chore. If this works, what it really means is that you thought you were in a true sink state, but you were really only in a partial sink state – you overcame it with effort. This may happen more than you think. You can’t actually tell if you’re in a sink state or a partial sink state until you try. It is possible to have an attitude that avoids learned helplessness. That is, you try, and if you fail, you just try again later without “learning” the unfortunate lesson that you cannot succeed.
The compassion arrow
Hunter gatherers cared for one another, often without expecting anything in return – neither status nor praise nor rewards. They did this because it’s what the leaders of their tribe were doing. When one shares a project with another person, one is exchanging control for control or listening for listening. But with the compassion arrow, there is no exchange, and therefore it is effectively a unilateral action. Importantly, engaging in the compassion arrow does not mean that you have no self or that you will never ask anything from anyone. On the contrary, compassion is an expression of the self – and it is one that does not preclude other interactions that are dyadic.
If compassion is learned primarily from leaders or people we respect, then that respect and trust is a prerequisite for learning compassion. If we think that people are being compassionate only because they are weak, because they want to manipulate others, or because they are signaling their superiority, then we cannot learn intrapersonal compassion from them. This is not so much their fault as it is a breakdown of trust between them and us. Trust can be restored through communication and by finding the right role models. Moreover, we can to some extent choose to interpret our role models as we like; we can choose to view others as trustworthy or untrustworthy when it comes to interpreting their own motives.
The present moment arrow
If your narrative or sink state involves thinking or ruminating about the past or future, you can use the present moment arrow. This is a Being Present arrow. Hunter gatherers lived more in the present than we do, because they did not have material possessions that could accumulate. Material possessions and concerns about the future are mostly Learned Layer rather than Default Human Range. You can choose to be in the present – perceiving what is happening now.
Secure base arrows
Secure base arrows involve making oneself into one’s own internalized attachment figure. The essential purpose is to tell a narrative in which you deserve to be loved, or that you are loved. This is a Narrative Arrow. Say these affirmations as a message from yourself to yourself.
- I love and accept you.
- It’s okay to feel this way; I’m here for you.
- You are capable and strong; you can handle this.
- You are safe; it’s okay to take your time.
- Your feelings are valid; you deserve love and respect.
- It’s okay to make mistakes; they are part of growth.
- I trust you to deal with this problem when the need arises.
- You deserve to take care of yourself and prioritize your needs.
I recommend not going at it by saying “I don’t need people” or some similar negative statement about autonomy. This kind of message does relate to autonomy, but I recommend that you aim for a positive kind of autonomy – one in which having autonomy is compatible with relating to others.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy arrows
Hunter gatherers were reasoners, as argued by David Graeber and David Wengrow in The Dawn of Everything. Therefore, reasoning can be a Psychological Default Human Range state. In fact, it is a Narrative Arrow, since to reason is to tell a story. Here are a few examples of cognitive distortions from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The idea is to recognize these distortions as distortions in order to renarrativize them.
- All-or-nothing thinking: thinking that a certain experience has to be either one way or another way.
- Personalization: assigning blame to oneself for circumstances that are outside of one’s control.
- Jumping to conclusions: drawing unwarranted conclusions.
- Overgeneralization: seeing a pattern that goes too far beyond the data.
- Emotional reasoning: taking one’s emotions too literally. (“I feel ashamed, so I ought to be ashamed.”)
- Catastrophizing: leaping to the worst-case scenario.
The Positive Self-Talk Arrow
With this arrow, one talks to oneself in a positive way, thereby simulating the discourse one might have with a supportive friend, therapist, or family member. This is a Narrative Arrow. Discourse with supportive others is a Default Human Range state, so intrapersonal discourse can be a Psychological Default Human Range state. It’s helpful not to get bogged down in (only) describing one’s problems, but also to imagine a supportive response. If one can’t imagine a supportive response, it could be helpful to locate and talk to a real supportive other, such as a therapist, over an extended period of time.
Nexus State Theory 